Questioning my existence in this huge planet. I can't feel anymore lonelier than this. I guess.

25.10.17 (Wednesday)_

Alone. Lonely. Depression. Sadness. You can say tons of negative words towards me and I can relate to all of them. I never felt as lonely as this time. Tears can fill my eyes so easily every time I thought of how alone I am, no one would understand, no one for me, questioning many questions to myself.

Love. What a beautiful word to say. But the word itself made me question myself some of the scariest questions: Is there anyone exist for me? Will I be single and unwanted for the rest of my life? Do love ever exist in my life? I can think of lots of lots of questions but never ever I would have those answers.

Maybe it was my fault, or not. I have no one to talk to; or maybe I feel very hard to spill my thoughts to someone; or maybe they will never actually understand my feelings anyways, so there's no meaning to even speak out.

Most painful and loneliest cry were hidden behind the happiest smile that I shown everyday. I might have the happiest or joyful or cutest smile but actually I have the saddest cry every night (or perhaps some nights as I'm too tired to even cry).

Upon all, I just think I have a shadow living inside of me and engulfing me everyday and every night. A shadow named, "great depression".

                   Believe Be:Leave, Aimer.