when you are away

tears fall unknowingly,
throat choked painfully,
mind filled with blank thoughts,
it's all because of missing you.

wishing you were here all the time,
when i stare into the spaces,
places you would be when you are here,
but still you aren't here.

sometimes i forgot how tall you are,
how big your hands are,
how does your scents smells like,
and forgot how do you even look like anymore.

day by day without you,
you are further away,
distance between us
and our hearts are further away.

repeating words in messages,
repeating routine everyday without each other,
things maybe changed a little,
just like silence took over when we called.

Sometimes, I wonder why, 난 너무 외로운 걸 (I'm so lonely).

A darkened heart
a moon-like haze in the clouds.
on this long night,
i can't help thinking
an unknown mind

The lack of clarity
maybe it's us or it's my heart.
I can't tell you. i'm wandering.
The starry night i am going through with you in my heart
with so much thoughts.
It's hard to fall asleep.
Over and over and over.

Sometimes i wonder why
i'm so lonely
in the never-ending darkness.
So i need you now
in this changing world
You'll be that light that won't change.

There's so much I can't forget
even minor memories
with tear in my eyes.
I know you can't fill it up,
find answers without problems.
It's haunting my memory.

I don't know what i'm thinking.
I want you to know
that's selfish
as i know
With so much thoughts.
it's hard to fall asleep.
Over and over and over.

Sometimes i wonder why
i'm so lonely
in the never-ending darkness.
So i need you now
in this changing world
You'll be that light that won't change.
You
You are my moonlight
you are my moonlight
you are my moonlight.

"Sometimes i wonder why, i'm so lonely, in this never-ending darkness."

- Moonlight, OuiOui.

i hate myself.

i hate myself
i hate that i am always sad
i hate that i am always depressed
like im nothing in the world
and no one cares.

i hate myself
i hate that i never knew what's wrong with me
i hate that i never had an answer
to tell him what's wrong
and how can he help me with.

i hate myself
i hate that my anxiety stops me from being too much of myself
i hate that i can't share all of my favourites
just because he did not always listens to my music
and i thought he wouldn't interested about it.

i hate myself
i hate that i can't be strong sometimes
i hate that i doubt about us
for being losing things to talk, share and listen
and silence took over when we get to call.