Music: Our connection and disconnection

How funny it is
when i listen to music
i think of you
always

You made songs and music about me
when we are together
even
when we broke up

How pathetic it is
music is the one
that brought us together
and also tear us apart

Replacement?

It was all unplanned
He came into my life
When I am still with him

What is his purpose?
To listen to my relationship problems
Made me laugh for a bit
Talk to me when he can't
Accompany me whenever the time is

He was there when we broke up
Comfort me by listening and accompanying

He is better, normal, funny and weird
He is not good in english, sweeter words or music
He cares about me and love me
for I am such a bad and emotionally sick person

and why am I with him now
I wonder
That we have less in common and less to talk with.

The "perfect guy" that never exist.

I guess the perfect guy
never exist
in my life.

They said Virgo are perfectionist
this I admit.

Who doesn't want the perfect guy?
Honestly, I want.
I want the guy that has
Perfect tanned skin
Muscular-built covered with tattoos
Long hair tied up
Smells dominant and sexy as hell
Wearing those hype and fine clothes

Who can treat me like
I am his only love
Give me most of his attention and time
Knows all my emotion and pamper me like im a baby
Understands my depression and can hug me whenever i want

But a guy like this
does he exists?

Nothing left.

I gave him a cap for his birthday,
I braided him a couple bracelet,
which i thought i can tie him together with me,
as i also thought that our hearts are tied together,
but seems like this is all my silly fantasy.

I gave him my first,
First hands holding with a guy,
First hug,
First kiss,
and first...relationship.

But he gave me nothing.
And nothing left for me.

Oh, he did.
He left me heartbroken and how broken he is in my memories.

It's all a "DREAM".

16.06.2018 (Saturday)

"Everything is like a dream. It returns to what it is when you're awake but you woke up feeling pain and the pain remains." 

It's all a dream. It's not a nightmare but it's not a sweet dream too. It's my first dream and I gave him most of my first experiences. Well, my love wasn't worth it at all after I gave him mine, because he did not appreciate it at all. However, I wish him all the best in his future, his job and his passion, also wish there's a right person which can treat him right and give him all the love that he wanted.

Bye.

It's too much.

"Don’t love too much,
Don’t trust too much,
Don’t think too much,
Because that's too much,
Will hurt you so much." - My beloved friend, Joyce.