Do it or NOT?

What a pathetic life,
when you have more reasons
NOT
to have a birthday party
than having one
on your precious 21st birthday?

And you actually got yourself
a boyfriend before your birthday
because you don't want to
celebrate your precious 21st birthday
alone.

If only i have a close group of friends
that i hangout with, then i will.
I will have that ONE reason to
celebrate it.

But, NO.
I don't.
That's why i am scared
to have a birthday
as so many years what i got is
just wishes and nothing else.

People were looking forward
for their birthdays.
But i am scared
of my own
birthday.

"Nobody knows my birthday, i feel so blue."
Birthday, Rad Museum.