Can I die.

I have a lot of outerwears; jackets, shirts, whatever it is. Why?
Because I want to keep myself warm. Keep myself wrapped, to feel secure.

I always bring extra things with me to anywhere, even though I dont always need them. Why?
Because I know. No one would carry them for me. No one would back me up.

I learnt martial arts to protect myself. Why?
Because I have only myself. No one will protect me.

But even though I know, no one wanna harm me.

because I'm not even worthy to pay attention to.

I am too ordinary in everyones life. Even my own. Im too lonely and sad. I am sick and even say it loud to people. "I'm probably dying" but I receive nothing.

NO ONE CARES.
NO ONE PAYS ATTENTION ON ME.

She has depression. She is sick. But she is lucky. Because at least she is loved, someone cares for her, worries about her. Even looking for her like crazy when she dont want to contact anyone.

BUT I HAVE NO ONE.

i love myself too much that
i ran out of love. im dying inside.
im not scared of dying.
im scared of living.
help.